It goes without saying that building a healthy and happy relationship with your partner is quite challenging. People have to deal with a number of issues before they breathe out and enjoy the company of each other. Still, having bipolar relationships is even harder. Related disorders make your path to a happy connection longer. Some couples do not manage to overcome available difficulties. Why bipolar relationships fail? Well, the reasons are different. But it does not mean that building bipolar relationships is impossible. While many connections fail, people keep proving that such type of union can exist. Before we open the secret of their success and provide you with effective tips, let’s learn what bipolar relationship exactly is.
Definition of Bipolar Relationship
Some individuals are very emotional while others are not. But there is a category of people who suffer from bipolar disorder. According to statistics, 2.6% of the American population has such a diagnosis. When you build relationship with a person who deals with this disorder, you should get ready that your connection will differ from a usual one. Bipolar disorder means a person experiences incredible shifts in mood. They may be positive and energetic now and stressed and sad in a minute. These changes are difficult to cope with. Your life is full of such strange periods and you never know what to expect the next day. When everything is okay, it seems that you can keep the fire, but in minutes when mental health condition makes the person act in a strange way, you understand that it will never be easy. Why do bipolar relationships fail? Let’s find it out.
Related Reading: Signs of Chemistry—How to Recognize The Affection Between Partners?
Main Reasons Why Bipolar Relationships Fail
Things that may make your break usual and bipolar relationships are different. The latter deals with extreme forms of behavior that complicate everything. What percentage of bipolar relationships fail? Unfortunately, most such couples separate, so about 90% of unions stop existing. Why bipolar relationships are so hard and eventually fail? Here are the main reasons:
1. Constant changes in the mood
Do you know people who feel okay when their partner changes mood every minute? Perhaps there aren’t many individuals who are ready to put up with these incredible shifts. Partners with bipolar disorder are hard to stand with. They may be positive, and then all of sudden become upset or angry. You never know what to expect from them. Therefore, you can’t plan anything ahead. All your life gets depended on these shifts of mood. At first, you may try to deal with this if you are really interested in the person, but then, your being gets harder and harder.
2. A focus on the person with the disorder
Dating a person with bipolar disorder means that most of your attention will be focused on them. This partner requires more care and assistance to overcome stress. Let’s face the truth – helping a person deal with a disorder and try to live a normal life takes a lot of effort. Not everyone is ready to devote all their life to fighting like this. That’s why many couples separate in the long run. Another person understands that they need care, attention, and love as well. They are fed up with providing constant support to their partner with bipolar disorder.
3. Consequences of stopping treatment
Usually, a person with bipolar disorder goes through treatment. It helps them manage their up and down periods. At some point, they start to think that everything is good and that they can stop their treatment. This is when all problems start to appear again. The stress of fighting the symptoms is getting worse and worse every single day. When the person decides to stop taking medicine, it is their partner who is going to suffer from the consequences as well. In case both people worked hard to set a period without any symptoms, and then one of them decides to destroy this, another one can take it as a betrayal.
4. Cheating
You may be surprised but infidelity is one more reason why bipolar relationships fail. It is what destroys any relationship, and makes people separate. Loss of trust is perhaps the worst that can happen to partners. In most cases, it is a person with bipolar disorder who tries to cope with stress, boredom, and other negative emotions. Still, the only thing that they manage to reach is losing their partner who has been by their side all the time.
5. Destructive behavior
Not every person with bipolar disorder is able to cope with their own emotions. That’s why some people try to find something to distract them. Among the most popular activities, in this case, are gambling, drinking alcohol, hookups, etc. Any risky behaviors are destructive to the relationship. They destroy not only the person but the partner as well. As you understand, consequences are not pleasant.
6. Boring routine
Did you know that a person with bipolar disorder needs to follow the same routine every day? This way, they may feel more confident and prevent extreme changes in mood. For example, they need to have an identical schedule of sleep, food, rest, work, study, meetings, etc. If any person misses at least one point – they begin to feel lost, unconfident, and stressed. This is when the partner may need to do some other stuff but following a boring routine prevents them from performing other tasks. Earlier or later this person is getting tired, and eventually, boredom affects the relationships.
How To Save Relationship from Consequences of Bipolar Disorder?
Can bipolar disorder destroy relationships? Definitely! But if you care about the person you are with, and you want to take every chance to save your connection, then pay attention to these recommendations. Mind that a lot depends on partners, so you two will be responsible for the result.
Improve your expertise
How much do you know about bipolar disorder and people who have such diagnosis? Perhaps not a lot. Most of us have heard a few general facts about changeable mood, and that’s all. If you are about dating a person with this diagnosis, you’d better learn more about it. As a result, you will be aware of all do’s and don’ts, evaluate all risks, and be ready for related consequences.
Focus on individuality, not a diagnosis
If you decide to try building a relationship with a person who suffers from bipolar disorder, you should focus your attention on individuality but not this diagnosis. If each time you will recall the problem and even try to explain everything only with it, you risk coming to nowhere. It would be also difficult to establish emotional safety between you two. Instead of worrying or experiencing any other emotions, you are recommended to devote more time for your connection, and learning about your partner. After all, the person you choose has something good if you like them. So why waste time thinking about diagnosis instead of having a great time together?
Accept the situation
As you already understood, dating a person with bipolar disorder has its own specifics. If you decide to try it, then you should completely accept the situation. In other words, you need to be ready for ongoing treatment, changes of mood, anger, endless happiness, etc. These are only a few states that you are going to deal with. You will have to provide constant support, care, and encouragement to keep treatment. In other words, do everything to prolong a symptom-free period.
Approach a good specialist
Therapy is an effective option for any couple. It is especially important for couples where one partner has bipolar disorder. A professional consultation is what can help you a lot. The expert may bring you closer, show the ways you can use, and build a nice connection. Moreover, there are cases that you are going to deal with despite the diagnosis your partner has. Among them are solving conflicts, intimacy, and so on. Therefore, couples counseling may be effective for you a lot.
Mind your own desires and needs
You can give nothing until you are filled. That’s why it is crucial to care about your own desires and mind your needs. You should practice self-care all the time. It is really important as you constantly support another person. That’s why you need to spend more time with people who can care about you as well. It would be great if you could surround yourself with such friends or relatives. Let them know that you are working with your self-care, and ask for assistance.
Why Bipolar Relationships Fail: Final Thoughts
Can someone with bipolar be faithful? Probably yes. But you should understand that most bipolar relationship fail. Of course, it all depends on two people. If you are ready to try, then get ready for the complicated process of establishing a connection. Take advantage of the recommendations that you read above. After all, we do not choose who to love, but we surely decide what kind of relationship it would be.
Greetings! My name is Grace Mitchell. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist based in LA. While having vast experience in the relationship sphere, I worked with numerous couples, including international ones. I know all the nuances and possible obstacles to happiness that numerous people face when trying to create rapport.
Hi, my girlfriend is a diagnosed bipolar individual. This article is helpful, I love her so much her personality is great. I will use the tips here to help make it through the difficult periods.