15 Dating Mistakes that You Should Never Make
Dating is often associated not only with romantic stuff but plenty of challenges. Still, people keep seeking their soulmate and believing in a “happy ever after”. It is not surprising since love is the best feeling in the world. It helps us achieve new goals, widen horizons, become better people, and forget about all related difficulties. However, people also make many mistakes when dating. They prevent them from being happy with a chosen partner and building a dream relationship. In case you want to put the end to biggeswt dating mistakes, then keep reading this guide, learn common issues and do your best to change the situation.
You Compare Partners
One of the most common “don’ts” of dating is comparing your present partner to your ex. It means you are stuck in your past and can’t move forward. Constant comparison is not good for you, as you risk placing too high standards for new people in your life. Still, having expectations from another person may lead to a breakup. Before you start to date someone new, you should leave the luggage of your previous relationship behind. Yes, your ex contributed to your life and the person who you are right now, but it is nothing more. Stop focusing your attention on him/her, and leave the past in past. It is the only way to be happy at last and build a healthy union instead of a toxic relationship with somebody who likes you.
You Do not Focus on New Relationship
Let’s face the truth, there are so many dating mistakes to avoid in a new relationship. But rather than focusing attention on them, you are recommended to enjoy dating. The beginning of the relationship is always nice. It is time for having fun, getting to know each other better, kissing, hugging, flirting, and other stuff that lets you enjoy every moment. This is when you create memorable moments and make the first steps into a lasting, happy relationship. Unfortunately, many people forget about it. Instead of being engaged in interesting activities and focusing on new relationships, they start to destroy them at the very beginning.
You Move Too Fast
Another example of early dating mistakes is the too high speed that you may practice. It means that you have high expectations from acquaintances and plan a future with the person you actually do not know. Moving too fast may spoil everything because you are likely to miss some important relationship phases. For example, you start to spend time with his/her friends and relatives before getting to know the person better. However, it is recommended to slow down and do not make any decisions about the future together. Take this time as the opportunity to learn the person better, find out his/her life values, and understand whether this is the right partner for a long-term relationship.
You are Clingy
It is great if you like a new partner and want to spend more and more time together. Still, texting mistakes dating may lead you to nowhere. Simply put, writing to the person nonstop and asking to spend all free time together may show you as a clingy individual. It is crucial to remain independent and keep having your own life. Nobody wants to be your only focus. So, continue doing your hobbies, devote time to self-improvement, meet your friends as all this will help you be an interesting person who a new partner would like to get to know closer, step by step.
You Pretend to Be Someone Else
First of all, it is quite normal that people try to show the best part of themselves when they start dating. Mistakes guys make when dating as well as women are losing their identity and pretending to be someone else. You may try to be better than you actually are, and create a perfect image. But, it is important to remember that acting like this will not bring you where you want. It is not the best decision to try to meet the partner’s expectations for the account of yourself. Remember, that the secret becomes clear soon, and you risk losing the person instead of creating a nice relationship.
You Overlook Red Flags
Even if your partner seems to be perfect or it is the way you take him/her, you should be careful. Do not believe the words only, and consider actions as well. Simply put, do not overlook red flags. If the person tries to control you, shows disrespect, is physically or emotionally abusive, then it means you should face the truth. Negative behavior means that you will hardly build a good relationship and be happy with a particular individual. Be attentive and mind that you risk by giving a second chance to the person. It is easier to end dating at an early stage rather than keep believing he/she would change.
You Play Wrong Games
Maybe it is not one of the top 3 dating mistakes that lead to breakups, but it is very common as well. If you want to make your partner addicted to you by playing some mind games, then you should understand – it is the worst decision for sure. Acting like that will prove you to be an immature person who is not ready for a serious relationship. Emotional plays are not the best way to install good ground for an honest union that is full of trust and respect. Therefore, such a strategy will not help you reach your goal and make your partner be potty about you.
You Worry a Lot
What not to do when dating? Certainly, do not worry a lot. Some people experience real stress when they start dating a new person. It is more about women, but guys may act like this as well. However, you should remember that constant worries may impact you badly. As a result, you risk suffering from insomnia problems, high blood pressure, extra weight, constant headaches, according to WebMD, and finally, get into a complete depression. Therefore, when you realize that you are worrying too much, take a pause for a while and remember the related consequences. This may help you stop being a worrywart.
You Aim to Change the Person
As it has been mentioned before, the start of any relationship is associated with romantic dates, chatting, and having a great time together. Still, some people speed up things, and instead of learning the person better, start to say what is wrong with him/her and what requires changes. Many dating failures occur exactly due to this reason. The idea to change someone is a complete failure so do not waste time, and accept the person as he/she is. In this case, you will not deal with any disappointment.
You Date a Few People Simultaneously
Such a situation is more common for online dating mistakes but some men and women act like this offline as well. However, you should understand that it is wrong. Of course, at the very beginning, you have no obligations as you are only getting to know each other. Still, this way, you lose a chance to find the right person. Dating a few people at the same time means you switch from one person to another one, without understanding who is who actually. Also, your potential partner may not like such an approach, and your communication will end at once.
You Focus on Labels
Most people do not understand why everything is changing all of sudden, if only yesterday, they were happy. If you stop and ask “What am I doing wrong in dating”, the most common answer would be “You are focusing on labels”. It means that you speed up things, and try to introduce the person who you know for a little, as your partner. In most cases, your new friend will escape as all that stuff with labels looks not well. Your relationships need a definite amount of time to develop naturally. Therefore, it is better to focus on learning the person better, rather than trying to put some labels on him/her.
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You Have Only Negative Expectations
Another dating faux pas is having negative expectations from the dating experience. Simply put, you are sure that it will not last for a long time. Many experts say that things that we expect to get, are more likely to happen in the long run. Therefore, it is important to remain open-minded, inspired, and do not jump to conclusions. Let everything flow naturally, and just enjoy communication. Positive thinking can contribute to good results a lot. Do not let your threats prevent you from being happy, even if your previous experience was not successful.
You Look for a Perfect Partner
This is one of the common dating mistakes women make, as well as guys. Who on Earth is perfect? Nobody, for sure. However, an image of our ideal partner in the head doesn’t let to build real relationships. It is important to put aside all expectations and dreams and start chatting with people who come into your life. Maybe a particular person doesn’t have the body of your dream, or is not the best specialist in his/her area, or doesn’t like cats as you do. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy together. The relationship is not the easiest thing in this world for sure, but it definitely worth trying. Remember that you are not perfect as well, and some things about you also may irritate the person, but just have a try. There are no ideal people, but you surely can build an ideal relationship.
You Are Dishonest
If you do not want your relationship to end before they actually start, then mind things that you say. Being dishonest will not play into your hands for sure. In case you want your commitment to be long-lasting, you should share your true feelings, and be honest despite any circumstances. This way, you will learn how to act in different situations and solve problems as they are. Just remember that any lies destroy your connection, despite whether you deal with consequences at once or in the future.
You are not Ready for Relationship
And the last dating mistake that most people make is trying to start a relationship without any readiness for that. You can’t build anything good if you have not calmed down after a previous relationship. You should be completely ready to move forward as if you are not, then every time you will fail. You can’t replace one person with another one. Actually, you can but not in the context of a serious relationship. So, if you want to be happy with a person for a long time, then you should learn to be happy with yourself, and get rid of previous negative dating associations.
How to Avoid Dating Mistakes?
Knowing the pitfalls of online dating and meetings in real life may help you cope with them easily. First of all, you should start with yourself. Do not expect that someone will enter your life and help you cope with all mistakes that you are likely to make due to previous negative experiences. Everything is in your hands. Try to have a good time, but remember to keep a cold head. Do not speed up things, forget about your high standards, and stay open-minded. Let everything happen naturally. Take every chance to learn the person better, and reveal your own personality. Do not get upset if you have already made any of the above-mentioned mistakes as you always can try to improve the situation. And last but not least, follow your heart while keeping the focus on your own life as well. Nobody wants to have an uninteresting person besides, who has not his/her own life. Keep living your life and have a positive mood. This is the only way to become happy in a relationship and avoid common dating mistakes.
In the Nutshell
Once you discover offline and online dating mistakes men make as often as women, you get one step closer to reaching your goal. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you can completely avoid acting in the wrong way. But at least, you will be able to understand the consequences. Do your best to learn how to avoid dating mistakes and build a relationship of your dream with the person who really matches you.
Mike Hickman is one of the best psychologists in New York. Thanks to working with people who face different problems in relationships, he knows well how to help potential partners build a strong connection, and how to let couples keep the fire despite routine issues. Here you can find efficient pieces of advice based not only on theoretical knowledge but Mike’s professional practice.