What is Emotional Abandonment in Marriage? – All Peculiarities Revealed
Relationships may see a lot of ups and downs despite how long people are already together. When spouses deal with emotional abandonment in marriage, everything seems to be very complicated. Two partners are involved and none of them has an idea of what to do next. It doesn’t mean that there is no way out. You can learn more about what is emotional abandonment in marriage, its signs, and the ways to cope with it.
What Does Emotional Abandonment Look Like?
You feel well in case your partner recognizes your emotions, needs, and responses to them. Otherwise, you feel abandoned and scared. Sometimes a person may just need some space to stay alone, but you feel too sensitive even if there are no reasons for it. Often it happens when you do not accept available boundaries, get a rejection or try to reach the person who is not emotionally available currently.
5 Signs of Emotional Abandonment in Marriage
If you want to make sure that you deal exactly with emotional abandonment in a relationship, then look at common signs that will help you understand everything properly:
- Long pauses of silence. It is not okay if you can spend the whole evening with your partner and say only a few words within this time. It may happen if your significant other doesn’t pay attention to you, or you are just bored with one another. You simply do not know how or do not want to address the issue and prefer to keep things as they are.
- Absence of physical togetherness. It is possible to talk about emotional abandonment if you like spending time in other places rather than sharing the same room with your partner. You may be busy with your hobbies or work, and do not remember about your spouse for a long period.
- A complete rejection. Couples deal with emotional abandonment if they prefer to close their eyes to real problems and leave everything as it is. They refuse to accept the situation and moreover, try to find some solution. Simply put, partners are not eager to deal with any emotionally-based difficulties.
Effects of Emotional Abandonment in Marriage
If your couple is one of those who faced emotional abandonment in marriage, then you should prepare for this issue’s definite effects. A person who goes through such difficult times often deals with feeling helpless, ignored, and constantly wondering what they have done wrong. Such negative emotions may result in losing trust, safety, and worsening self-esteem. You stop sharing common values and the connection is at risk. Your relationship loses depth at all levels starting with an emotional connection to a physical one. Luckily, it is possible to walk through emotional distance and back your relationship to a good state again.
How to Deal with Emotional Abandonment in Marriage?
If you notice any emotional abandonment signs and want to save your connection, then go on reading to find available solutions.
1. Talk to your partner
The first thing that you should do when you understand that your couple faces emotional abandonment is to initiate conversation. You should discuss everything and come to a common decision. Start with claiming an objective of a talk. Emphasize that you will not fight or accuse the partner of all current difficulties. Pay their attention that you are on the same page, and you want to check what is going on between you two. Mind that such conversation aims to help your connection but not ruin it. Still, it is better not to set any definite expectations, and accept any kind of result that you are going to get.
2. Make sure you are calm
What is emotional abandonment in marriage? First of all, this issue is strongly connected with emotions. So, before doing something to overcome the following problem, you should be calm. You will hardly be able to start a productive conversation until you are collected. Specialists recommend practicing a few effective techniques to calm down:
- Close your eyes and breath deeply
- Stay alone and quiet for at least 10 minutes
- Get involved in yoga or any other activities that help you relax
This way, you can get rid of such negative emotions as anger and disgust. But remember that honesty is key. So it is necessary to show your true emotions but do it in a softer manner.
3. Become a team player
Remember that your spouse is significant, and you should collaborate with them to make your relationship work out again. If you see that your partner feels bad, then you should demonstrate understanding and support. Show that you are a team, and can cope with all difficulties together. Ask the partner how you can express empathy not to worry them.
4. Replace “You” with “I”
It is well-known that the tone and mood that you use to start a conversation are crucial for the overall outcome. You easily offend your significant other and hurt your relationship. Still, it is simpler to say than to do, yes? That’s why specialists recommend you to use “I” statements instead of “You” statements. Try to talk about your feelings, and avoid any kind of accusation.
5. Forget all offenses
When you deal with conflict, it is impossible to move on. You start to focus on small details, the emotions, the words, and phrases that you have heard during the conflict. You should forget all offenses, otherwise, you risk losing trust and come to spiritual disconnection. Available wounds do not let you see a general picture as it is actually. Therefore, you should leave them behind.
What is emotional abandonment in marriage? It is the absence of one partner’s response to the emotions and needs of another one. You may feel confused and broken if you face complete indifference from your spouse. Mind that it may be a short period when they need to cope with their own emotions, and stay alone. But if your couple deals with such conditions for a long time, then rebuilding your bond may be a complex process. Remember to practice efficient tips from this article to reach your goal and do not be afraid to approach a therapist if you can’t cope with the situation on your own.
Mike Hickman is one of the best psychologists in New York. Thanks to working with people who face different problems in relationships, he knows well how to help potential partners build a strong connection, and how to let couples keep the fire despite routine issues. Here you can find efficient pieces of advice based not only on theoretical knowledge but Mike’s professional practice.