The sphere of personal relationships between two loving people is infinitely multifaceted, and more often in it, we are faced with such a concept as long-distance relationships. At present there are a lot of long distance couples. Interesting fact that 75% of all couples have been in a long distance relationship at some period of time. There can be many reasons for such a long distance relationship: for example, one partner had to go to another city for a long business trip, or you met on the Internet, and without communicating with this person you can no longer imagine your life. It often happens that to get a prestigious education, you need to leave your loved one for a long time. In any case, the question will arise before you: to maintain personal relations or to terminate them even before departure. Are the long distance relationship forever? Of, course no.
We have prepared for you a complete guide to save intimacy during long distance relationships. You can find answers to all your questions here. After all, distance makes love stronger!
Related reading: Long Distance Relationship Statistics In USA
Should You Start a Long Distance Relationship?
Long-distance relationship are just as capable of giving us a cocktail of very different, sometimes conflicting sensations and emotions, for which (not least) we are looking for a romantic partner: euphoria, delight, surprise, doubt, fear, rage, happiness. The main thing for long distance relationship is to learn how to properly build relationships with emotional safety at a distance with your long distance partner (you will learn how to avoid failed long distance relationships in the article).
Benefits of a long-distance relationship
- In the long distance relationship you are connected all the time. Undoubtedly, this can be considered a plus, because you constantly share a lot of information with a partner, and also learn to hear and listen to each other.
- Long distance relationship is your opportunity to take a risk. If you have found the person of your dreams who lives in another country where you have always dreamed of going or moving, then this is your opportunity to take a chance. But immediately after three days of dating, you should not go to your soulmate, because it is not bold, but even a little crazy.
- You are not afraid of any conventions. If you were able to survive the distance, then you can easily survive the usual difficulties or disagreements in a couple. In general, you are already hardened with your partner.
- You motivate each other during long distance relationship.
- A great motivation is the realization that a loved one is waiting for you somewhere, appreciates and is afraid to lose, even being at a great distance. If later the one with whom you love yourself is next to you, then this will give you even more strength.
Disadvantages
- Flip side of such relationship: in long distance relationship you are painfully waiting for meetings in real life. Yes, rare meetings are a plus, but the fact that you are constantly looking forward to them upsets you. You are constantly waiting for the moment when you can be together. And this time will never be enough.
- You cannot know what the partner is doing if you have long distance relationship. You should not follow your beloved, but, undoubtedly, a person in love will worry about where the other half disappears. Especially if one day they didn’t call.
- You don’t know if you can get along in everyday life. You don’t know yet if you can live with your soul mate. It is especially frightening if you are from different cities and none of you dare to move somewhere. This can complicate the relationship and not lead to the next step.
- For some long distance couples everything could look like a sad movie. While all couples in love are walking together in the park, going hand in hand, you are walking with only one via video link. If you do not prepare for this, then such relationships can become unhealthy when you depend on each other.
What Kills Long Distance Relationships? 7 Things You Must Know About
We have highlighted the most important things that kill many long distance relationships. Learn to exclude them in the future.
1. Lack of communication
Here is just a matter: what kills long distance relationships? One thing is lack of communication. The strong bond of intimacy between partners is especially important for a couple that has a long distance regular relationship. We all communicate a little differently, so find the right approach and talk about your feelings instead of blaming your partner. It is a long distance relationship work for you: make sure they understand you. Also, try to listen and understand other partner, and show empathy and respect for them during your long distance relationship.
2. Absence of trust
Lack of trust could kill long distance relationships also. Trust issues are the most important in a long distance relationship. Indeed, often, couples break up precisely out of distrust, and jealousy. Remember that you must trust each other if you love sincerely. If you can’t trust your partner, you’ll never be truly happy, and neither will they. Therefore, watch their actions and try to build sincere trust in the couple.
3. No boundaries
One of the negative aspects is also having no boundaries. Although you are in a long distance relationship, you can also get bored with each other. Both of you must maintain your friendships and personal interests, otherwise, you threaten each other to become uninteresting for a partner pretty quickly. Long distance relationship work: it is necessary to keep yourself as a person so that your lover is interested in getting to know you and communicating with you.
4. Passivity
What kills long distance relationships? A lot of people who have love at a distance in their life forget about the value of their inner “I”. Unconditional love and support should not be the answer to any negative actions of your partner. Your emotions matter. If their actions harm you, say so and try to correct the situation.
5. Insincerity
In long-distance relationships, partners rarely see each other, if not at all. Therefore, they cannot always recognize each other’s sincerity. If you’re lying to protect your partner’s feelings or pretending not to hurt them, it’s a road to nowhere, overcome it. With a partner, you need to be frank and as honest as possible.
6. Inability to resolve conflicts
Even in the happiest long distance relationship (and not only), conflicts also happen that need to be able to resolve in time. Otherwise, it threatens to develop into serious problems. These skills require practice. Try always to put yourself in the place of a partner and act in such a way as not to offend them. But don’t forget about yourself, you must also be able to defend your boundaries.
7. Lack of support
Some of partners could feel lonely and feel sad, various factors can be the reason for it. Relationships at a distance can sometimes be difficult, so here both partners need support more than ever. Your emotional support, your phone calls, video chatting must be your partner’s biggest fan and also important events for them. Sometimes you even have to make sacrifices for their happiness. However, you will certainly receive even more love, attention, and respect in return!
Related reading: How to Keep Emotional Safety In Relationships?
How to Save Relationships at a Distance? Top Recommendations From Experts
The distance for any couple is a serious test of strength. The lack of live communication, tactility and the opportunity to be around in long distance relationship can lead to a cooling of emotions and, moreover, to a break in relations. To prevent this from happening, you and your partner need to follow some rules on communication.
Find common goals
It is important to make effort and always remember why you are in a long-distance relationship for a given period. What is the purpose of this? For example, if you have to live separately because of work or study. It is worth setting a fixed end date (few months or few years) when you can still get together with a partner, so it will be easier for you. After all, you will know that it will not last forever.
Think of a joint activity
Time spent together is significant for any couple, but not too much. You need to stay apart as alone time is a must as well. You can spend time together even if you are in long distance relationship. It sounds strange, but everything has its alternative. Spend quality time with person you love. Think of activities that you will do together, calling up via video call, for example. It can be cleaning, cooking, watching one youtube channel, or listening to music. The important thing is that you both enjoy it.
Be honest with each other at long distance
Partners who meet at a distance should be as sincere as possible to each other since they do not have the opportunity to see each other and discuss everything that interests them live. Always tell your beloved person about your mood, problems, and so on even if you are chatting on dating site every day. It is important to discuss all topics that are important to you so that later it does not result in a conflict.
Maintain physical closeness
It is hard to do significant physical intimacy in long distance relationships. From sexting and sharing erotic videos and photos to remote toys that can be controlled from anywhere (if you are at long distance relationships), modern technology provides many opportunities to satisfy each other’s physical needs while being at a distance. Even if you were previously skeptical about this activity and adhered exclusively to traditional sex, it would be good to reconsider your views: this way you will be more likely to maintain passion and intimacy even in long-distance relationships.
Make pleasant surprises at long distance for each other and give things that remind you of yourself
It could be related to some material things. For example, before your partner leaves, you can hide some kind of reminder of yourself in their luggage. You can buy something for them and mail it to them, or take a picture of the thing and send it along with the comment “it’s waiting for you when you get back.” Sending traditional paper postcards is also a good idea. In a word, you need something material that will help lovers remind of their physical presence in each other’s lives. Pleasant little things in the form of letters, parcels, and long heart-to-heart conversations via video link will add warmth and pleasant emotions to the relationship.
Suppose it is impossible to maintain a physical connection. In that case, you can strengthen the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual – sharing interesting materials, and articles, to see and read, for example, send it by e mail. You need to be not only partners but best friends also. You can even use talking to each other about everyday details and form common goals – for example, lose weight or learn some new skills. Finally, maybe you will have common long term plan about improving yourself?
Ways to Keep Love at Long Distance
One of the most famous and ancient stories of long-distance relationships is the pair of Penelope and Odysseus. They kept love at a distance for 12 years and were able to build a happy relationship. How did they do it? We tell here.
- They communicated via video link (video chat). Psychologists recommend talking and spending time with each other regularly. It is essentially for relationship.
- Partner’s feelings were discussed. It is advisable to ask a partner about their emotions, and well-being.
- They trusted each other on the long distance, being on the same page.
- They also heated interest. A spicy photo or video call makes your imagination work and think about your partner.
- Partners dreamed together. People involved in such relationship, need to dream together (not obligatory about the same things). A discussion of a common future and building family relationship will give an understanding of why two endure all the hardships of parting.
- They supported each other in difficult times at the long distance. If a loved one is in trouble, you need to find a way and to make effort to staying in touch with them.
- They improved themselves. Both can learn something new for the sake of a loved one. For example, learn how to cook dishes of the cuisine that he likes or tighten his figure.
- This couple didn’t listen to others (friends and family). When others say that long-distance relationships are unsuccessful and it would be better to end them for the future, it is better not to pay attention to this point. If the partners have a strong emotional connection that they constantly maintain, the distance and other people like friends and family does not hurt their love.
Summing up
In the long run, there are no barriers to true love and building a family at the long distance. If two people sincerely love each other and intend on a happy long-term relationship, they will succeed. Long-distance relationships are not easy, but this period can be experienced with dignity if nobody makes excuses only. Remember that this will not last forever. Finally, the main thing is to understand what is the purpose of your effort to save love. In everything else, following all these things we told you, can help you save the relationship if you have such a point.
Greetings! My name is Grace Mitchell. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist based in LA. While having vast experience in the relationship sphere, I worked with numerous couples, including international ones. I know all the nuances and possible obstacles to happiness that numerous people face when trying to create rapport.
This article sounds reasonable, the most important thing is not to make excuses and to maintain the relationship together by dreaming and constantly communicating. At least that’s how my girlfriend and I got through a two-month separation.
My husband and I maintained a relationship at a distance of almost 10 years – he worked as a truck driver and came home only once every 3–5 months. And everything was fine, we loved each other and were very happy to meet. He organized gifts for me via Internet delivery, and I sent him erotica. But last year, he finished his career as a driver and now works as a logistician. And being next to each other makes it very difficult for us to build relationships. We are used to living alone. I don’t even know what to do now…